Tyler flung the dumbbell across the room. It dented the wall it hit, chalk and dust raining down. It had almost been two years since the Tyler before him had blown up Catherine Weaver’s office, but that was all he had blown up.
He remembered the press conference she had given a few days later as if she had given it yesterday. She had appeared on screen and had smiled at the camera while she had stated: “We are a company that mostly develops hardware for computers. In the future we would like to start developing our own software that would be more compatible with our hardware.” A blatant lie.
However he had not been the only one frustrated that his predecessor’s death had been in vain. Sarah had been unbearable for the next few months, demanding perfection from him and John while she trained them to the extremely, but where John would whine and complain about the strict regime, he quickly adapted to it and even found the time to teach himself valuable things that could help him in the future battle.
After one long and tenuous year, he had dropped out of college. He wanted to be stronger and better than the other Tyler, discovering that extremely straining physical exercise calmed the restless nanoattrioids down. He read book after book on warfare, worked out every chance he got, perfected his skills in the use of military arms.
Yet the other Tyler’s failed attempt was not the only reason for his frustration. John’s hesitance to destroy Cameron after she had become a ‘Runaway’ was another reason. It was unfathomable to him that John had even hesitated. The girl-like killing machine had tried to kill them, had killed Derek and yet John had wanted to fix her. The muscles in his upper arms and shoulders twitched with restrained frustration. A slight headache set in.
He hated this feeling of powerlessness, knowing that the future to come was an inevitability. He snorted with contempt: John still thought that Judgment Day could be stopped, but he did not cherish such illusions. ZeiraCorp had become the leading company in developing hardware and software for artificial intelligence. Time was ticking away.
He grabbed the towel from his bed and wiped the sweat from his upper body. Maybe a shower would help him relax and get rid of the tension building in his head? With each buildup of frustration and powerlessness, the nanoattrioids made their presence known. Which was a ground of worry and frustration on its own. A sword of Damocles dangling over his head.

Sarah looked horrified as it went from white to powderblue and gulped nervously, her heart racing in her chest. An accident, just what they needed, she thought sarcastically. How was she supposed to fight this war? A Glock in one hand, a baby on her other arm?
She had not been ready for John, and she was not ready now. Tears of frustration welled in the corners of her eyes. The reflection in the mirror taunted her and she slammed her fist into it.Glass shards rained down, cut her hands but she did not feel it. Numb, shocked beyond words.
It had been an accident, three months ago. One wonderful night between Tyler and her. His eighteenth birthday, a relaxed day on which he had taken her to dinner after his intended date had cancelled. A fancy restaurant, wine, an intoxicating normalcy that had only underlined the hectic and erratic life they normally lead. They had talked about small things, avoiding if not ignoring the dark side of their existences.
The wine over dinner had made her loosen up some and had even caused her to be somewhat flirtatious towards him. He had been cool and aloof, as he always was, but even he had grinned and had told her that it was nice to see that she had a silly side.
She had blamed it on the intake of alcohol, but when they had reached the front door of their new yet temporary home she had snaked an arm around the small of his back, causing him to look her way in wonder. With him caught off guard, she had stolen a kiss from him. He had looked shocked at first, but before she could turn away, he had cupped her face and had given her a long kiss. She had reached for him, longing for human touch, and he had answered.
One thing had lead to another and for one night she had found comfort in the arms of a gentle man. One night in which she had been allowed to be a woman, instead of a hardened soldier. One night, with now disastrous consequences.
She contemplated her options. Should she keep it? Or should she give it up? There was one big difference compared to the last time; this time there would actually be a father around. New questions arose: would he think that she was trapping? Would he take off and leave her to raise another child alone? More and more questions threatened to flood her mind. Whatever she did, it was not her decision alone whether to have the child or not.
Her heart sank in her shoes. She had to broach the subject to Tyler, incapable of predicting how he would react, especially after they had agreed that they would never speak of that night again.

Tyler stared at the first screen of his computer but he did not see the code of the program he was supposed to be working on. As of late he found it harder and harder to concentrate as the memory of that one night had started to torment him. They had agreed over breakfast the next morning that it should never have happened, that it had never happened. He had reluctantly agreed, ignoring the sharp stabs of pain it sent through his heart.
Nevertheless as it became something of the past more and more, he found himself thinking about it more and more. He had tried to lose himself in his work, to no avail. He tried to forget by dating and bedding other girls, but he never forgot.
It had sent a dagger through his heart when she had literally said that it had been a mistake that should never have happened and that it had been the alcohol talking. It did not change the fact that she had taken the initiative and that he had followed, allowing himself to accept what he had denied so far, even if it had been for only one night: he was in love with her.
He ran a hand through his hair and sighed in frustration. What was he supposed to do with this mess? She did not like surprises and going up to her, declaring his love for her, it would be a huge surprise. Was he scared?
Just seeing her slow smile warmed his heart. Wanting to hunt and kill anyone foolish enough to hurt her, whether in word or action. Two simple things, out of many, that told him how strong his feelings had become the past two years. Had the other Tyler suffered in silence like that too?

John looked from his mother to his friend and wondered. Over the past few months the dinners had become silent instead of jest and banter. Something had happened between his mother and Tyler, but he could not exactly place what could have happened.
It had not gone unnoticed that his mother’s behavior around had changed after Tyler’s eighteenth birthday. Did she like him more than she was willing to admit? He remembered that Cameron had once told him that the other Tyler had been his mother’s husband. Was this about the time it had happened? Two lonely and wounded hearts, joined in battle, finding refuge with each other?
He took a deep breath and thought about it. Unsure how he felt about his mother and his friend getting involved, he searched for answers for the sudden change between the two of them. Before they would spend time together, discuss strategies and talk in general. Now it seemed like an arctic wind had cooled things between them. He wanted happiness for his mother, who had dedicated her life to him the moment the future had been revealed to her. She deserved it so. But did it have to be with Tyler, who was eighteen years younger than she was? Who was his age?
Besides he had seen how Tyler went from one girl to another, not granting the previous one another minute of his time. He understood his friend’s reasoning when he had addressed him about such ungallant behavior towards women; he did not want to get emotionally attached since the world would go to hell anyway and the girl would probably die with it. It was not a good excuse but from what they knew about the world’s future it was an understandable one.
Still, was there something else behind such behavior since Tyler did treat his mother with the respect she deserved? His mother, mentor and protector. Did it act as a shield? To keep Sarah at arm’s length?
“He was her husband,” Cameron’s voice and words echoed through his mind. But that had been the other Tyler, who had admitted that he had willingly changed the future. Had the other Tyler intended to drive them together or apart?

Sarah pushed an unwilling lock of hair aside in a manner that spoke volumes about the level of her frustration. The wild locks, manes to accompany her lioness way of life, had a mind of their own this evening.
Slowly she rose to her feet, just to stretch her legs for a couple of minutes, after desperately trying to divert her attention by studying new data and information John had given her shortly after dinner. Dinner had been very trying. Painfully silent and she had not dared to look at him, afraid that she’d give anything about her problems away. Tyler, no matter how distant and cold he could be, always wanted to help and would have badgered her until she had to confess.
The words and numbers had not stuck, her thoughts kept being drawn back to the predicament she now found herself in. She had decided to keep quiet about it and examine how she really felt about Tyler before taking the next step. The other Tyler would have been a better match for her. He had been two years older and had had a lot more life experience than this Tyler.
This one was eighteen years younger than her, something so easily overlooked in the way he carried himself. He had changed so much over the past one-and-a-half year, looking more like the Tyler from the future than the scrawny young man he had been the first time he had set foot over the threshold. He had really developed himself into a strong young man, working out when the headaches came because the strenuous exercise seemed to calm the nanoattrioids, leaving when they wouldn’t calm down. She knew the nano’s to be a sword of Damocles. She had seen it in the other Tyler. Every new day was a new battle against himself.
His infection with the micro machines had only been a brush but it had changed him. And it amazed her how strong he actually was in his mind. The other Tyler had gone on a rant about how young this Tyler had been, too young to be confronted, but maybe it had been a good thing. Maybe because he had been so young, he would be able to control it?
She closed her eyes and let out a deep wistful breath when she thought back of that night. He had been attentive and kind, unselfish and passionate. She swallowed a few times; she should not have allowed her thoughts to go there, resulting in the opposite of what she had wanted. It caused new questions to rise to mind: was it only lust? Or was there more? Could she ever love him? Or would he always be a toy to her?
Feeling like a caged animal she began to pace back and forth. This was a situation she no longer had any control over, and that realization only contributed to her general feeling of restlessness. Any situation she held no control over was a threat and only gnawed at her. No one was ever safe, especially not when it came to uncertain situations.
Suddenly the door to her bedroom flew open and in barged Tyler, only coming to a halt less than a feet away from her. Now was as good as any time, she thought sadly. However before she could utter one word, he leaned down and claimed her mouth in a wonderful kiss. It spoke of passion and despair, just like the look in his eyes seconds before he kissed her.
Taken by surprise, she stood frozen. Anger welled up and her temper rose to a dangerous level. He knew that she did not like surprises. Surprises effected her sense of control and safety. Besides most surprises in her life had not been of the pleasant variety.
Right now she could not tell what she preferred: hit him or kiss him back? Again she felt torn apart. This was not a good day to be Sarah Connor.
Suddenly, as if he regained his senses, he broke off the kiss and turned away: “I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have done that.”
She grabbed him by the arm in an attempt to make him turn back so she could give him a piece of her mind, but he did not move an inch.
“The hell you shouldn’t have, Devlin!” She seethed against his back.
Quickly she crossed her arms, tugging her hands away to suppress the urge to punch him on the small of his back. She might have been declared insane in a distant past, but that didn’t mean that she was crazy, knowing that in physical strength she would be no longer any match for him.
“What the fuck were you thinking?” She demanded to know.
He kept quiet, only letting a single deeply sad sigh escape. The silence seemed to last forever. More and more it infuriated her that he still had his back towards her. Usually he would face her head-on, never backing down, but this was different. This wasn’t one of her storms he had to let pass. This was one of his.

Tyler closed his eyes and lowered his head in sadness, trying to still his erratically beating heart. She had demanded to know what he had been thinking, but he had not been thinking. It had been an uncontrollable impulse that could, and most likely would, have severe consequences. With his recklessness he had ruined every chance he would have had with her, but he could not let go of the fact that that one night had changed everything.
Where he had wanted it to be so much more, she had cut him off, telling him that they had no future together. He had wanted to disagree, but she had been so adamant in her convictions, that he had felt like he had no other choice than to agree with her decision. Agreeing had not changed the way he had felt, still felt, and it had been the origin of his irrational action.
She was extremely lonely, just like him. The girls he had dated and bedded over the years had never been able to fill the gaping void in his heart. It was a shallow search for something deeper, something he had seen a glimmer of in their night together.
Was it his age that kept her from seeing how he really felt? Or was it that he wasn’t this badass soldier yet? Just like he always faced her in her temper storms, he had never shied away from battle out in the field, earning his fair share of battle scars already. However he was nowhere near being the man he was supposed to become. The other Tyler; he had been an alpha male, challenging each and every one every chance he got. Was that it? Was that why the attraction between Sarah and the other Tyler had been so strong, where the connection between Sarah and him appeared to be so bleak?

“Will you answer me?” Sarah hissed through gritted teeth, almost unable to keep herself from hitting him, barely able to contain her rage.
Very few people had tried her like Tyler was trying her now, especially when he finally answered in a soft voice wrought with emotion: “What answer do you want, Connor? The truth? A lie? Would you know which is which? A lie the truth? The truth a lie?”
She heaved a sigh of exasperation; so it had come to playing mind games. In that way he was no different than the other Tyler. Mind games to cover up whatever had possessed him to surprise her like that. Mind games to keep her from grilling him. Sand to be strewn in eyes, to add to the confusion and pull away the attention from the matter at hand.
It was exasperating and unnecessarily complicating things. But did she really want him to speak his mind? Did she really want an answer this time? It was not like him to act so emotional. He was always so cool and composed, keeping a general oversight of the situation.
The pressing silence, his posture, it spoke of things and feelings better left unsaid. She couldn’t answer him, at least not yet. He had only just turned eighteen. Still a boy in many ways, a very smart boy who would play a key role in the future of the world.
This unexpected pregnancy, it had derailed everything. Confronting him with it, he might feel obligated to do the right thing, and she didn’t want to tie him down. There was still so much he had to learn, still so much she had to teach him, and she did not think that they would benefit from it if they were to get romantically involved, even if now they were tied by blood.
And what if their child would become another key figure in the survival of mankind, just like John? She knew how Skynet would react; it would send another machine after her, killing everyone who would get in its way. No doubt that Tyler would lay down his life for her in an attempt to stop the killing machine. The thought of that possibly happening was almost unbearable already.
She listened impatiently as he took a deep breath, expecting him to finally say something. But he raised his head silently, straightened his back and walked out of her room.
“Goddamnit,” she seethed frustrated.

“So… Why are you packing again?” John asked, leaning against the doorpost.
“’Cause I can’t stay here anymore, John,” Tyler answered before he shoved the last of his belongings in his sports bag.
“And you can’t stay here anymore why?”
“It’s time for me to go.”
“It’s mom, isn’t it?”
He could tell from the look on his friend’s face that his last question had been right on the money: “What happened? You two fight again? Or what?”
“Or what… Besides, I have lived off of your hospitality long enough. It’s time I learn to stand on my own.”
He sighed. If Tyler left, one of his biggest worries would be gone as well. On the other hand, it strengthened him to know that he wasn’t alone in this battle. That there were others who would be important for the future of humanity as well. He could talk to Tyler about it, confer about next moves and discuss plans.
“Tyler, whatever happened between mom and you… You don’t have to go. I’m sure that if you talked about it, it can be solved.”
Tyler shook his head: “It’s not that simple, John.”
“It never is,” he muttered.
“What happened between Sarah and me. If I were to stay, it would lead to complications.”
“Want me to go and talk to her?” He offered hopeful.
“We’re past talking,” Tyler sighed.
“What the hell happened between the two of you?” He asked, anger seeping into his voice when he thought that they had gotten into a real fistfight and in his own way he was very protective of his mother. “Did you hit her? She can try a saint, but that’s no reason to get violent.”
Tyler’s head shot up: “Are you asking me if I have hurt her? You know that I could never hurt her.”
“Then what?”
He started to grow impatient. If it wasn’t violence that had driven a wedge between his mother and Tyler, what had? Seconds of silence went by and he could see Tyler contemplating his answer.
Now Tyler cleared his throat: “A few months ago, Sarah and I had a thing. Just one night.”
“A thing? You mean you screwed her and dumped her the next day?” He exclaimed furiously.
He noticed that Tyler’s eyes grew distant and cold, the sign that the machine was coming, but he did not care. He had observed Tyler long enough to know that arrival of the machine was connected to his emotions. Anger fed it.
“Try the other way around,” Tyler answered monotonically. “She had her night of fun. I was just a means.”
Tyler’s sudden honesty sent his mind reeling. That was what had happened between them? What had caused the rift between them? He swallowed a few times and let it sink in. He knew something that the both of them did not know, but so soon? Words eluded him.
“And you’re leaving why?”
“Because we have no future, John,” Tyler sounded irritated, which he took as a good sign since it meant that the machine had not taken over.
Should he tell him that it was quite the opposite? That one day his mother and Tyler would end up together? But wouldn’t that complicate matters even more? It would give Tyler hope of something that might never come.
Quietly he watched as Tyler zipped up his sports bag and hoisted it over his shoulder. Should he stop him? Or should he let him go? Who was to say that their paths would cross again?

Sarah let herself fall backwards on her bed and stared at the ceiling. She could never catch a break, could she? There was no doubt seeing John’s sudden exclamation that he now knew what had happened between Tyler and her. She had rather seen that he hadn’t found out, because now he would not let go of it. Tyler was like a brother to him, and now his ‘brother’ had been with his mother. It sent a shiver of disgust down her spine.
She closed her eyes tiredly and thought about the situation at hand. Had it really been a mistake, like she had claimed it to be? Had the alcohol only made her lose her inhibitions? Or had it uncovered young feelings she had unconsciously harbored for Tyler? Had she been lying to herself when she had kept telling herself over and over again that the night they had shared had been nothing else but mindless fun?
Vivid memories in sound and image flooded her mind suddenly. The warmth of his body as it had covered hers. His heated kisses meant to swallow any of her moans of rapture while he had rocked between her thighs, his muscular upper legs pressing firmly against her skin. His low groans of pleasure when she had showered his throat and the soft flesh of his chin with gentle love bites. The white-hot tremor that had left her quivering underneath him after she had reached the end stage of their lover’s play.
It had been a night to remember fondly, but she had dismissed it as a mistake. Something that should not have happened. She could deny it all she wanted, push it to the back of her mind, but it had happened. And it had altered the interaction between Tyler and her greatly. Where she had felt that she could talk to him about anything before, she now found herself withdrawing from or avoiding any normal conversation they could have had.
Her heart became lodged in her throat and her eyes snapped open when John burst into her room: “Mom, Ty’s leaving!”
“Then let him leave,” she said with a trembling voice after she sat up.
“You gotta talk to him, mom,” her son begged of her.
“It’s his decision, John. Once he has made up his mind, you know that there’s no changing it,” she sighed when she remembered how determined the other Tyler had been.
“So you’re just gonna let him walk out of here?” John exclaimed upset.
She looked to her side and smiled sadly before looking her son directly in the eye: “I know that you like him, John, but-”
“You like him too, mom, I know you do,” he interrupted her. “You love him… You just haven’t realized it yet!”

John rubbed his eyebrows, blinked the sleep away and stared at his computer screen. For some reason someone was always on step ahead of them in their battle for the future and he had a pretty good idea who it was. It had been two months since Tyler had walked out on them and one good month since he had discovered the secret his mother had been carrying around.
He had tried to contact Tyler but the latter had never answered until he had disappeared off their radar completely. Only a few minutes ago someone had blown up CyCom Industries, one of the companies on Derek’s list. They had been deliberating their options and now another company involved in the development of Skynet had been reduced to a pile of ashes. It wasn’t the first time this had happened. Tyler had read the list and most likely knew it by heart.
At first he had thought that the list could help him track down Tyler but the attacks on companies on the list were at random. There was no order. It had to be Tyler, it just had to be. All Skynet companies, all in randomness, making the culprit a difficult mark.
He switched off the monitor, rose to his feet and headed downstairs to the kitchen to make himself something to eat.
“John?”
Her voice was distant, drowned out by the news report on the CyCom Industries attack on TV. He rolled his eyes and turned on his heels to go to the living room.
“Who else?” He asked upon entering the room.
She glanced at him shortly before looking at the TV again: “He’s not coming back, is he?”
He shrugged. His stomach grumbled, in need of something to eat.
“I don’t think so, mom,” he answered honestly.
Her face told him nothing about what she was feeling right now, but he knew that she was crying on the inside. Just like he had told her she would, she had come to realize that what she felt for Tyler went further than mentor – student. He should have pushed her more to stop Tyler from leaving but instead she had let Tyler walk out the front door. Of course it did not help that she was struggling with being pregnant and trying to save the world at the same time. Right now, she wore the mask of indifference.
Had this been how she had been after Kyle Reese had sacrificed himself for her? After two crazy days that had drawn her life?
“Want me to give trying to find him another shot?” He offered with a smile.
She smiled faintly, her eyes still glued to the TV, as if afraid to miss any new information: “That would be like searching a tiny needle in a giant haystack. If this is Tyler’s doing, he’s been going all over the country to blow up anything remotely linked to Skynet. He could be in L.A., but he could be in New York as well.”
“So you think it’s him as well?”
“It’s him. He wants to make sure that he has Skynet’s full attention while trying to stop the end of the world.”

The sports bag hit the floor with a dull thud. Scratching on the slick surface of the wooden floor, followed by happy barking. He knelt on one knee and caught the wildly enthusiastic dog in his arms. It tried to lick his face, wagging its tail maniacally while wiggling firmly against him. He grinned crookedly after the patting the animal on its head and rising to his full length: “Missed you too, Spinner.”
Spinner barked as if to agree with his master and ran into the small kitchen at the end of the hallway.
With a computer and internet to his disposal Tyler could be anyone he wanted to be. Today he was Tyler Malloy, tomorrow he could be Tyler Doyle, the day after tomorrow Tyler Reeves. Changing names and identities like a chameleon would change colors had become a part of his life now.
His four legged companion Spinner, a German Shepherd he had picked up from the pound on the same night he had left the Connor household, was the only steady factor in his life at this point. Here today, gone tomorrow. Only staying in one place long enough to do whatever he had come to do before moving to the next place, onto the next target. It was the path in life he had chosen to walk.
The future is not set. There is no fate but what we make for ourselves.
It had been five months since he had left the relative safety of the Connor home and yet not a day went by without him wondering about them, about her. He shook his head fiercely; there was no need to go there now. He was making his own fate.
A sharp pain shot through his left side and he grimaced. Catching shrapnel and debris was an occupational hazard he had come to accept as soon as he had fully realized how fast the nanoattrioids healed him. Tonight hadn’t been any different, with the exception that he was still no murderer and had dragged the unconscious night guards into safety before the building blew.
He went into the bathroom and removed his black T-shirt before he looked at his reflection in the mirror. More and more scars marred his body and in one or two days he would sport a brand new one when the long cut across his left side would have healed. After running cold water on a wash cloth he started to clean the wound, a deep hiss of pain escaping him.
He closed his eyes and let the pain subside. A pain killer would be very welcome, but it would be the worst thing he could do in combination with the nanoattrioids. The pain ebbed away slowly and he opened his eyes again, only to look at his reflection in the mirror again and see the man he was supposed to become shine through.

Chapter 22: Behind Enemy Lines – Our Gang Goes To ZeiraCorp

Chapter 24: Facing Your Demons