Rules to Live By Chap III Cold SteelThis is a featured page


III. Cold Steel Frozen Heart
Carrie's eyes opened and she looked at the wall she faced. She placed a hand against it and sighed. It felt really strange not waking up to the usual sight of steel or ceramic beside her. She felt more lost, then felt extremely guilty.

“Am I feeling sentimental about losing my rifle?” she thought puzzled. Sure, anger she could understand, but she didn't even cry over people. But, she'd lost lots of people- she'd never lost a weapon. Tears spilled out of her eyes and she realized Wall was right- she'd lost her favorite teddy bear. She sniffed and rolled up and, forgetting to be careful, as ribs and muscles protested she let out a "Crap!” She breathed in and out through her mouth a couple of seconds until the pain slowly faded.

Rolling to face her Collin asked "You OK?" from his pallet.

"Yeah, just forgot to be the turtle, not the rabbit." she replied, and then remembering her tears, wiped them away. She hoped he would think they were from the pain.

He knew she was crying before she sat up. It justified his assessment that she was still alive. Even if she was crying over a weapon, not the buddies he thought she was crying over, she was at least feeling something.

Don't let anyone tell you different, but they all cried. The trainees cried because their feet hurt more than they'd ever hurt before. They came back from their first fight and they couldn't let go of their weapons, and they cried. The really old Sergeants cried, but they usually hid it behind a bottle of hooch, a screaming fit and a few broken teeth. This sergeant cried many times as slowly his whole family was lost to the work camps or in battles. Everyone cried. Well, no one was sure; they don't think General John Connor ever cried.

-----

Carrie started tightening the laces on her boots that she'd loosened so that she could sleep. Collin said, "We'll get some chow, then hit the armory. We'll get our kits squared away since we'll be off to Omaha tomorrow."

"Sounds like a plan". She finished her bow and tucked the laces into the top of her boot.

Collin stood over her and offered her a hand, knowing that she would be a bit stiff this morning. "Need a hand? Err… Can I touch you?"

"Technically, wouldn't this be me touching you?" She grabbed his wrist and she was levered up. She tucked her shirt in, and then slowly and gingerly reached down for the Glock, “I guess you want this back?”
Collin waved her off, “You can keep it for a little while longer”.

They hit the chow line and were dished up something resembling last night's dinner that was put through a blender. They found a spot and stood against the wall to eat, though, if given a choice wouldn’t have.

Collin came to a gray lump and queried Carrie, "What do you think that is?"

Carrie raised an eyebrow, "Looks like a piece of my rifle after the T-800 stopped beating me with it."

"Jesus, Carrie, how can you joke about that?" Collin shoveled the rest of the puzzling concoction into his mouth.

"How can I not?" Just like some people got morbidly humorous about a person dying, she had to joke about losing her prize possession. “I think it was a mushroom.” The mushroom had looked just like the piece of the scope that bounced past her, right before she thought she was going to die. She finished hers up as well, scraping her spoon across the plate. It may have been unpalatable, but when you didn't have much you ate what you had.
--------

Dark humor aside, she was in good spirits and she figured it was because of the field trip to the armory. She'd always liked visiting the armory. New and interesting things came in all the time, especially if they'd knocked off a Skynet supply convoy or discovered an old cache. She liked the smell of the gun oil, metal and cosmoline- the aroma of things that kept you safe.

The armory was just a closed off tunnel end with a counter flanked by a large metal door. The armorer met them at the counter and Collin described their needs. She needed something light, though she hated admitting her current limitations. When the grenade launcher was mentioned she practically bristled- lobbing explosives when she was used to precision just wasn’t her nature.

“What about a shotgun?” The armorer asked.

“I’d prefer not to get close enough again to make that effective,” she replied, though she doubted the effectiveness, “And spraying pellets all over the place isn’t my style either”.

“Uhuh,” he eyed her bruises knowingly and turned and walked with his keys and unlocked the vault.

The armorer came out with a rifle and said, “Looks like you’re getting a tried and true M16 A1, and you get the grenade launcher thrown in for free.” It seemed tiny and inadequate compared to her former rifle and she regretted her requirement, but she would be able to carry this thing and not slow anybody down.

Curiosity got the best of her and she asked, “Do you happen to have a XM500?”

Collin asked, “What’s that?”

She looked away, “It’s my rifle.”

Collin’s arms crossed, “You can’t carry that, and you don’t have any use for that! You can’t haul that all the way to Omaha!”

“I know, I was just wondering. There aren’t a lot of them around.” She turned back to the armorer, “You don’t have to bring it out, I was just wondering.”

“Funny you should ask. They brought one in all beat up to use for parts. Yours?” He knew the answer from the color of her face; he knew that often soldiers got attached. If this was the one that went with that rifle, he was surprised she was alive, let alone up and walking so soon.

Carrie looked down at the floor, and both Collin and the armorer were surprised by her reaction. She gave a barking laugh and said, “Maybe you did eat a piece of my rifle.” Then she looked back up and asked hopefully, “Did they bring in anything else? A Desert Eagle?”

Collin looked at her, shaking his head, “When I called my Glock a toy, I should have realized your preferred your teddy bears with larger claws.”

The armorer’s reply was to simply return to the vault. He came back with a box, which he opened and showed the contents. He removed the magazine, pulled back the slide and checked to make sure there wasn’t a round in the chamber. He then handed her the weapon.

Carrie could barely breathe. She cleared her throat a couple of times, and was finally able to ask, “Will you issue it to me?”

He replied, “Seems like it was yours anyway, we were just holding it for you. And, this”. He slid something small across the counter to her. Carrie looked down, then with a shaking hand picked up the small red and white cat figure that was still attached to an o-ring from her rifle. She looked at it in her hand for a moment, the quickly closed her fingers around it and shoved it in her pocket, she nodded her thanks.

Collin realized he should finish up the transaction, “So, we’ll need a supply of ammo for her new rifle, cleaning kits, and if you’ve got it, a holster and ammo for her cannon.” Carrie couldn’t help but smile at that.
------

Carrie sat on her blanket with one leg spread out in front of her, one leg folded up against her chest. She had had her Desert Eagle field stripped and spread out on a blanket within minutes of returning to the pads. It was calming to her to have it returned to her, and she was lost the ritual of disassembly and cleaning. She was oblivious to the ruckus of the privates and trainees readying their gear for moving out.

Collin interrupted her reverie finally, “Carrie, start preparing your kit. We’ll get this all squared away asap so that we can see what else you need.”

She quickly re-assembled her gun and holstered it on her thigh. As she was making neat piles of her equipment, Collin asked her, “So, what’s Omaha like? I’ve only been here at Liberty, Normandy and City Hall.”

“Omaha’s pretty good compared to most of the other bases, bunkers and warrens I’ve been in, and you know scouts travel ‘round. Omaha Base is in an old underground parking garage so if you get billeted anywhere but the bottom floor it’s not damp like in the tunnels.” She pointedly wiped her foot in the muck, “They also have an underground river or something nearby, I don’t know, but they have consistent power and they have greenhouses. Food’s much better. You won’t be eating things resembling my rifle.” She looked over her shoulder smiling, “There are lots of friendly people there. It’s a good place.”

“Do you have a guy there?”

“No”

“A girl?”

She laughed, “Oh, no, it’s not like that.” She sighed and turned fully around, “Remember Rule #3…Everybody dies. I don’t have anyone except my buddies and, it’s better that way.” She turned back to her task.

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“…I don’t have anyone except my buddies, and it’s better that way.”

Collin realized he was grilling her and decided he should lay off. Carrie had interesting philosophies on life but she seemed to have a good grasp on why she did things. He didn’t have more than buddies himself either. He wondered if he had rules that he didn’t know about.

“Wall!” A bellow came down the hall from Lieutenant Ford, “Up here!”

Collin turned to Crow and Symms and ordered, “Make sure the puppies get everything jammed in their packs right. I think Ford’s giving us the orders for moving out.” He knew he was letting his new Corporal off light, but there would be plenty to lay on her later.

Chap II: Hard RulesChap IV: Hot Fight




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