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bkingfish
bkingfish
WARNER BROS. TV WRITERS WORKSHOP
Aug 15 2008, 12:07 PM EDT | Post edited: Aug 15 2008, 12:07 PM EDT
Hey out there, TSCC fans, just a little something some of you may or may not be interested in - I submitted this hypothetical episode, a season two opener (The Enemy of My Enemy), to Warner Bros. Television Drama Writers Workshop as a sample; all of the entrants must submit an episode of a current TV show in order to gain entry to their workshop. The program starts this fall.

It's a long shot to get into the group, but I figured you, the true TERMINATOR fans, might get a kick out of it.

Remember, this is only a hypothetical episode, ( The real season two opener is Samson & Delilah, I'm sure most of you know) and mine is in no way affiliated with the show. It's just something I submitted in order to show the folks at the workshop I know how to write for television. Here's to hoping they let me in.

Just follow the URL below and enjoy! Any criticism is welcome. Also, below the script link is the link to WB's TV writers program for those of you that may be struggling TV scribes.

https://share.acrobat.com/adc/document.do?docid=d1d185dc-7821-4030-9931-fea2086e05a7


http://www2.warnerbros.com/writersworkshop/dramatic.html
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Keyword tags: tscc blog writers
Omegarium
Omegarium
1. RE: WARNER BROS. TV WRITERS WORKSHOP
Aug 15 2008, 12:59 PM EDT | Post edited: Aug 15 2008, 12:59 PM EDT
If you want to enter this workshop, first of all you should know that it's called a spec script. 0  out of 1 found this valuable. Do you?    
Schmacky
Schmacky
2. RE: WARNER BROS. TV WRITERS WORKSHOP
Aug 15 2008, 1:37 PM EDT | Post edited: Aug 15 2008, 1:37 PM EDT
You've posted this 3 times in 3 different threads...

I already read and responded to it in the first thread you posted it in.
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bkingfish
bkingfish
3. RE: WARNER BROS. TV WRITERS WORKSHOP
Aug 15 2008, 1:40 PM EDT | Post edited: Aug 15 2008, 1:40 PM EDT
"If you want to enter this workshop, first of all you should know that it's called a spec script."
LOL! Yes, you are correct. Just figured I'd explain the script as "hypothetical" since it's one of many possible roads the story could go down in the new season.

If you happen to read it, love to hear your thoughts. Thanks for checking out the thread.

Cheers
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bkingfish
bkingfish
4. RE: WARNER BROS. TV WRITERS WORKSHOP
Aug 15 2008, 1:43 PM EDT | Post edited: Aug 15 2008, 1:43 PM EDT
"You've posted this 3 times in 3 different threads...

I already read and responded to it in the first thread you posted it in."
Yeah, just trying to spread it around to see what, if any, feedback I get. One can always use solid criticism to improve their game.

Would've posted before submitting to the workshop, but quite frankly I just didn't think about it at the time.
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Omegarium
Omegarium
5. RE: WARNER BROS. TV WRITERS WORKSHOP
Aug 15 2008, 1:45 PM EDT | Post edited: Aug 15 2008, 1:45 PM EDT
"LOL! Yes, you are correct. Just figured I'd explain the script as "hypothetical" since it's one of many possible roads the story could go down in the new season.

If you happen to read it, love to hear your thoughts. Thanks for checking out the thread.

Cheers"
I don't know anything about screenwriting, so I couldn't help you in any way.

Actually, I do know that there is much competition (admitting you live in north America) and knowing the right persons is a key. So, good luck, and it is a luck-demanding job.
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bkingfish
bkingfish
6. RE: WARNER BROS. TV WRITERS WORKSHOP
Aug 15 2008, 1:49 PM EDT | Post edited: Aug 15 2008, 1:49 PM EDT
"I don't know anything about screenwriting, so I couldn't help you in any way.

Actually, I do know that there is much competition (admitting you live in north America) and knowing the right persons is a key. So, good luck, and it is a luck-demanding job."
Thanks. You're definitely right on all counts.
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Schmacky
Schmacky
7. RE: WARNER BROS. TV WRITERS WORKSHOP
Aug 15 2008, 2:55 PM EDT | Post edited: Aug 15 2008, 2:55 PM EDT
I guess I'll post here again. I read it last night. Overall, I liked it. It was good. Your action writing, I think, is very good. I had a clear sense of what was going on. If I was the director, I would have a good grip on where that action is going and how to go about doing it. The dialogue, it was okay. I wasn't too fond of the voice-overs. It seemed to get too wordy and technical, trying to explain everything. It didn't have a Sarah-feel to it. I really did like the theme you chose and what the voice-overs were about, but wasn't fond of how it came out. Dialog between characters, I think that's not your strong point, so that might be something you want to work on more. A lot of times words read right, but when you try and say it out loud and have these characters interact, it doesn't sound right.

That's all I got for now. Overall, good job. GOod luck with the workshop
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C.Isaac
C.Isaac
8. RE: WARNER BROS. TV WRITERS WORKSHOP
Aug 15 2008, 3:09 PM EDT | Post edited: Aug 15 2008, 3:09 PM EDT
I read it as well, but when the liquid metal started flying, something felt incredibly wrong and you lost me. Sorry, but that just didn't work out. Especially with John nabbing the dialog used in T3 to try to 'reason' with Cameron.

I think you tried too hard to get too many things shoved in there and it came out as a very hyperactive attempt to have everything stuffed into one story.

Nice try though. Try dialing back a little and I think you'll do better.
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Schmacky
Schmacky
9. RE: WARNER BROS. TV WRITERS WORKSHOP
Aug 15 2008, 3:20 PM EDT | Post edited: Aug 15 2008, 3:20 PM EDT
"I read it as well, but when the liquid metal started flying, something felt incredibly wrong and you lost me. Sorry, but that just didn't work out. Especially with John nabbing the dialog used in T3 to try to 'reason' with Cameron.

I think you tried too hard to get too many things shoved in there and it came out as a very hyperactive attempt to have everything stuffed into one story.

Nice try though. Try dialing back a little and I think you'll do better. "
Yeah, I forgot about that. I think I said that in the first post. Making Cameron a liquid terminator wasn't a smart move. In the show, it's already been established that she actually has an endoskeleton, so changing her like that would be bad script-writing, because it's like you aren't paying attention to what has already been established. I agree with Isaac about the T3 references. In a script for a TV show, you should not knock off any other word so blatantly. John's line and Cameron's morphing hand, just seemed wrong. If those were gone in the script, I think that would be better.
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Schmacky
Schmacky
10. RE: WARNER BROS. TV WRITERS WORKSHOP
Aug 15 2008, 3:21 PM EDT | Post edited: Aug 15 2008, 3:21 PM EDT
any other word=any other work 1  out of 1 found this valuable. Do you?    
bkingfish
bkingfish
11. RE: WARNER BROS. TV WRITERS WORKSHOP
Aug 15 2008, 6:46 PM EDT | Post edited: Aug 15 2008, 6:46 PM EDT
"I read it as well, but when the liquid metal started flying, something felt incredibly wrong and you lost me. Sorry, but that just didn't work out. Especially with John nabbing the dialog used in T3 to try to 'reason' with Cameron.

I think you tried too hard to get too many things shoved in there and it came out as a very hyperactive attempt to have everything stuffed into one story.

Nice try though. Try dialing back a little and I think you'll do better. "
Yeah, some people like th T-X/T-1000 abilities, some haven't. I hear ya. Although she has an endoskeleton (as did the TX in T3) as far as I know they've never established all of Cameron's abilities. At least not to my recollection in the first season, anyway. I don't even think they've mentioned what her model # is. Oh well. Something to look at again should I write a new episode for next year's workshop.

Figure I'd throw in the T3 dialogue at the beginning since the show's writers have done similar things on previous episodes. The pilot for example, "Come with me if you want to live." Cameron to John a la Reese to Sarah in T1 or the T-800 to Sarah in T2.

Thanks for taking the time to read it.
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bkingfish
bkingfish
12. RE: WARNER BROS. TV WRITERS WORKSHOP
Aug 15 2008, 6:50 PM EDT | Post edited: Aug 15 2008, 6:50 PM EDT
"any other word=any other work"
Yeah, I have plenty of other specs, but they're not things I want to post on the intenet for fear of having my original ideas pilfered. I figured I'd do it with this one since these aren't my characters to begin with.
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Schmacky
Schmacky
13. RE: WARNER BROS. TV WRITERS WORKSHOP
Aug 15 2008, 11:45 PM EDT | Post edited: Aug 15 2008, 11:45 PM EDT
"Yeah, I have plenty of other specs, but they're not things I want to post on the intenet for fear of having my original ideas pilfered. I figured I'd do it with this one since these aren't my characters to begin with. "
I'm sorry, I was correcting my earlier mistake. I had meant to say "In a script for a TV show, you should not knock off any other WORK so blatantly."

I see now why you added that T3 line there. To me as a reader it didn't seem like a nod to the film but just taking that dialogue.
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