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Akuji |
New Fan-Fic by Akuji
Oct 1 2008, 4:17 PM EDT
Hey, Just started out on a new Fan-Fic for you guys to (hopefully) enjoy. Loosly based on an interesting dream I had last week, we see the story of John and Cameron and their struggle against Skynet. Still in early stages at the mo with only 2 chapters completed, but I wanted to get some opinions before I take this further, plus I am still in need of grief counciling after the death of Alison :(. So providing this gets a good response and my grief counciling is a success then there will plenty more chapter to follow. Thanks in advance for your support, and I hope you enjoy the story. Also I wanted to say a special thanks to Veran for acting as my little guinea pig for these 2 chapters, without your opinions I probably would have been too shy to post this :P. So thank you very much! 11 out of 11 found this valuable. Do you?
Keyword tags:
Cameron
John Connor
Judgement Day
Terminator
Time Travel
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Akuji |
1. RE: New Fan-Fic by Akuji
Oct 1 2008, 4:22 PM EDT
Might help if I add the link *slaps head*http://terminatorwiki.fox.com/page/Terminator%3A+Dawn+Of+A+New+Hope Do you find this valuable? |
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Akuji |
2. RE: New Fan-Fic by Akuji
Oct 1 2008, 6:54 PM EDT
Giving this a little bump cus I'm eager to see some opinions before i start chapter 3.C'mon guys wheres the love :( Do you find this valuable? |
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Veran |
3. RE: New Fan-Fic by Akuji
Oct 2 2008, 12:01 PM EDT
Don't worry, people are less inclined to post fan fic opinions on this site for some reason. Hell, it was ages before I got my first reply, but you'll gather a few loyal readers in time. Being a new story, you're probably below the recent events in terms of interest, so I'll spread the word, get some people interested.
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RSA-8000 |
4. RE: New Fan-Fic by Akuji
Oct 2 2008, 2:09 PM EDT
So far I think its great. I'm looking forward to the next chapter
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MyImmortal |
5. RE: New Fan-Fic by Akuji
Oct 2 2008, 2:12 PM EDT
Summer, those jeans really do define your "assets" OMG!! o.o
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Jerh |
6. RE: New Fan-Fic by Akuji
Oct 2 2008, 3:17 PM EDT
I realy like it, good job. I love action stories that through the little love story in them such as John and Cameron I mean its a love that shouldnt happen and makes you want it to happen even more, still dont know if you are going to take it in that directiion or not but regardless great job.
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Akuji |
7. RE: New Fan-Fic by Akuji
Oct 2 2008, 6:23 PM EDT
Thanks guys, much appreciated.Only thing that doesn't work is John's dialogue (thanks to LuckiiBeckii) for pointing it out. Only problem with being English.... it's hard to come up with believable american dialogue, so before I start chapter 3 I will be watching some episodes to get a real good picture of John in my head (and maybe go and have a play with his current dialogue in chapters 1 and 2). Do you find this valuable? |
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Veran |
8. RE: New Fan-Fic by Akuji
Oct 2 2008, 7:05 PM EDT
"Thanks guys, much appreciated.Here's a little John/Cameron exchange that's off the top of my head: [John tosses and turns on the mattress and eventually gives up trying to sleep. He looks up to see Cameron standing in the dark, staring out of the window] Cameron: You're awake. John: Well maybe I'd sleep easier if you weren't standing there like a statue. Can't you sit down or something? Cameron: I am not required to sit. I can just as easily stand still. John: Yeah, I noticed. Look, just pull up a chair or something. I'm wrecked and I need my usual three hours sleep. Cameron: You need a minimum of five to function properly. John: Well I'm not gonna get anywhere near that amount unless you sit down, so... [Cameron drags a chair over to the mattress and sits down with her hands in her lap. John shifts uncomfortably as she just stared at him] John: Now what are you doing? Cameron: Watching you. If I can't look out of the window then I'll have to keep an eye on you instead. John: That's great, so no sleep for me after all. You're worse than my Mom, at least she only watches me when I'm already asleep. Cameron: I could close my eyes, if that helps. John: It might. [Cameron closes her eyes but two dim blue lights shine through her lids] John: Tell you what, I think I've lost all enthusiasm for sleep now. That's a rough take on their current dynamic in your story. I hope this helps you to understand John's mindset. Do you find this valuable? |
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Akuji |
9. RE: New Fan-Fic by Akuji
Oct 2 2008, 7:35 PM EDT
Thanks. Thats really good, especially for something thats just come off the top of your head.I will be spending much time analysing John to try and perfect him. Since I think I've pretty much worked out the rest of my characters in the story. Do you find this valuable? |
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Veran |
10. RE: New Fan-Fic by Akuji
Oct 7 2008, 12:36 PM EDT
Patiently awaiting the next chapter. With TSCC on haitus for 2 weeks, we all need something else to occupy our attention. :)
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Akuji |
11. RE: New Fan-Fic by Akuji
Oct 7 2008, 8:02 PM EDT
Chapter 3 is now uploaded and ready. It is called "The City Of Angels," only a short chapter, so dont worry chapter 4 will follow closely behind.Enjoy. Do you find this valuable? |
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Akuji |
12. RE: New Fan-Fic by Akuji
Oct 7 2008, 8:03 PM EDT
Forgot the link again cus I have the brainspan of a rocking horse :Phttp://terminatorwiki.fox.com/page/Chapter+03%3A+The+City+Of+Angels Do you find this valuable? |
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Veran |
13. RE: New Fan-Fic by Akuji
Oct 7 2008, 8:48 PM EDT
"Forgot the link again cus I have the brainspan of a rocking horse :P[Sigh] When will gun shop owners learn not to sell their merchandise to Terminators. Those guys never pay for their goods and don't expect to be given a tip either, unless a courtesy brain burster counts as a tip. ;) Eagerly awaiting the next chapter. :) Do you find this valuable? |
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Akuji |
14. RE: New Fan-Fic by Akuji
Oct 9 2008, 4:39 PM EDT
Chapter 4 is now uploaded and ready for viewing, It's called "The Beginning Of The End?"http://terminatorwiki.fox.com/page/Chapter+04%3A+The+Beginning+Of+The+End%3F Enjoy :) Do you find this valuable? |
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Veran |
15. RE: New Fan-Fic by Akuji
Oct 9 2008, 5:27 PM EDT
"Chapter 4 is now uploaded and ready for viewing, It's called "The Beginning Of The End?"Yet another brilliant chapter. One little nitpick though, and I apologize in advance, but you might want to be wary of repetitive words ("consume"). Other than that, good job. :) Do you find this valuable? |
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Akuji |
16. RE: New Fan-Fic by Akuji
Oct 9 2008, 5:42 PM EDT
Thanks for the advice.As I'm sure you know it can be hard trying to come up with multiple variations for the same action, and sometimes you find yourself getting lazy :P. Since it has been noticed I will look into it tho. Glad you enjoyed the chapter, the next one should follow soon. Do you find this valuable? |
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Tystick357 |
17. RE: New Fan-Fic by Akuji
Oct 9 2008, 5:49 PM EDT
I read the first few chapters, well done. I'll read the others lately.Although I wasn't looking to nitpick at all, I usually just read for the enjoyment. Do you find this valuable? |
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Tystick357 |
18. RE: New Fan-Fic by Akuji
Oct 9 2008, 5:49 PM EDT
oops, *laterWhere's an edit button when you need one? Do you find this valuable? |
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Akuji |
19. RE: New Fan-Fic by Akuji
Oct 9 2008, 6:00 PM EDT
lol I know, thats my only nitpick about this site :P.Also of course I welcome all constructive criticism with open arms, so long as it isn't put across in an immature fasion like "This sucks ass" or summin like that, then its all good. And thanks to Veran's little nitpick I managed to find a decent Synonym site if ever I need some word variations. Managed to update the consume example given too, and yes it may only be small but it does make a difference :) Do you find this valuable? |