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Zable_Fahr	80. RE: JMHthe3rd's First Fan Fiction Apr 5 2009, 5:14 PM EDT \| Post edited: Apr 5 2009, 5:14 PM EDT spooky ninja bump Best. Fanfic. Ever. Post reply Do you find this valuable?
ScotWithOne_t	81. RE: JMHthe3rd's First Fan Fiction Apr 15 2009, 12:03 AM EDT I've read up through chapter 3. Very nice material. I love this version of Cameron, as it seems more realistic than how many fanfic authors write her. I like how there is actual thought process and introspection too, rather than just "stuff happening". Like John's suicide attempt, and his snowballing depression leading up to it. Actually really had me feeling for the kid. Post reply Do you find this valuable?
JMHthe3rd	82. RE: JMHthe3rd's First Fan Fiction Apr 16 2009, 2:40 AM EDT \| Post edited: Apr 16 2009, 2:45 AM EDT Finally finished "Chapter Fifteen: Love is Love" http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4809923/15/In_the_Hands_of_an_Angry_Machine @Scot: Thanks. I'm glad you like it. And yeah, poor John. Riley pushed him over the edge. Post reply Do you find this valuable?
predaking50ae	83. RE: JMHthe3rd's First Fan Fiction Apr 18 2009, 5:26 AM EDT I'm finally venturing outside of my own thread to comment on your fanfic! ;) *** You've kept John similar enough to S2 JC that he 'feels' like the same person, but you've also made him into a convincing human being. Even if Cameron were a drone, no human- not even the savior of humanity -could watch her pout without trying to put a stop to it. * Sarah's still crazy, I see. TSCC Sarah apparently believes in homunculi, so no amount of crazy is beyond that woman. * I've loathed your Kyle since his first appearance. It was probably because of his shirt, though... j/k :p Cameron with a non-JC character just seems... wrong. Except for in ClaudeFTW's dreams where he says she is often paired with Allison. That I'm strangely comfortable with. *** Your Cameron is flatout amazing! She's planning to do far worse than most TV/movie villains could ever dream of, and I still find myself wanting to give her a hug every time that John gives her a dirty look... WTF, man?! Finally, is it all right that I find her desire to augment John to be more 'sweet' than 'creepy'? O_o I can't wait for Chapter Sixteen! Post reply Do you find this valuable?
ClaudeFTW	84. RE: JMHthe3rd's First Fan Fiction Apr 18 2009, 5:47 AM EDT \| Post edited: Apr 18 2009, 5:48 AM EDT "Except for in ClaudeFTW's dreams where he says she is often paired with Allison. That I'm strangely comfortable with. *** " Errr...GET OUT OF MY HEAD! Post reply Do you find this valuable?
JMHthe3rd	85. RE: JMHthe3rd's First Fan Fiction Apr 18 2009, 1:06 PM EDT "I'm finally venturing outside of my own thread to comment on your fanfic! ;) *** 1) You've kept John similar enough to S2 J 2) Sarah's still crazy, 3) I've loathed your Kyle since his first appearance. 4) Your Cameron is flatout amazing! 5) I can't wait for Chapter Sixteen!" 1) Yeah, I think he's more believable than the series John, anyway. In real life he would be most likely a neurotic wreak. I mean, he has no friends, and his early years involved his mother raving about killer robots. And given how emotional adolescents can be, I think he'd react a lot more negatively to Riley's suicide attempt than he did in the show. In "The Good Wound," he just seemed vaguely annoyed. "Oh, Riley tried to kill herself. How inconvenient." That never seemed to ring true to me. I thought it would a lot more fallout than that. On the other hand, I think his treatment of Cameron has fairly realistic. After S&D he expected gratitude, and got none. Then he had Riley, and so he pushed Cam away. Annoying, but I can see it happening. But yeah, my John's a lot more emo than the series. 2) Yeah, I think my Sarah makes yours seem sane and rational. But then over a period of a couple days she's had Kyle come back from the dead as a Cam obsessed I950, found out that in one future Cam had forged a cyborg zombie empire, and in another future "Jameron" took place. And she thinks her dreams are real. I have to admit, I usually break up into giggles while writing her scenes. 3) Yeah, I hate Kyle now, especially after Fifteen. 4) Thanks. Ultimately, ITHOAAM is her story. Cam only wants what's best for John. 5) I just started on "Chapter Sixteen: Mommy Will Save You" Only 350 words into it. Post reply Do you find this valuable?
JMHthe3rd	86. RE: JMHthe3rd's First Fan Fiction Apr 25 2009, 11:26 PM EDT "Chapter Sixteen: Tonight is the Night" is up. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4809923/16/In_the_Hands_of_an_Angry_Machine Post reply Do you find this valuable?
JMHthe3rd	87. RE: JMHthe3rd's First Fan Fiction Apr 27 2009, 8:20 PM EDT \| Post edited: May 2 2009, 4:36 AM EDT Here's the titles for the four remaining chapters. Chapter Seventeen: Good Intentions Chapter Eighteen: When All Else is Stripped Away Chapter Nineteen: Raison d'etre Chapter Twenty: There'll be Peace when You are Done After that, I'll take a month or so break, then start on the sequel fic, "Mother is the Name for God" Currently 370 words into Ch.17, 990-715 Post reply Do you find this valuable?
JMHthe3rd	88. RE: JMHthe3rd's First Fan Fiction May 15 2009, 12:38 AM EDT "Chapter Seventeen: Good Intentions" is up. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4809923/17/In_the_Hands_of_an_Angry_Machine I'd appreciate any comments. Post reply Do you find this valuable?
Zable_Fahr	89. RE: JMHthe3rd's First Fan Fiction May 15 2009, 8:11 AM EDT \| Post edited: May 15 2009, 8:20 AM EDT I can't believe nobody has left any comments yet. Or maybe people did via PM? Anyway, cool chapter JMH. Very much looking forward to seeing how all this is going to work out. Favourite moment: the Epicurus paragraph. Thought that was very sweet. Dunno if you were going for subtle humour there, but I found it strangely amusing too. Post reply Do you find this valuable?
JMHthe3rd	90. RE: JMHthe3rd's First Fan Fiction May 16 2009, 2:50 AM EDT "I can't believe nobody has left any comments yet. Or maybe people did via PM? Anyway, cool chapter JMH. Very much looking forward to seeing how all this is going to work out. Favourite moment: the Epicurus paragraph. Thought that was very sweet. Dunno if you were going for subtle humour there, but I found it strangely amusing too." What made it especially funny (IMO) was that Cam used the quote out of context. Epicurus was actually saying death is nothing to fear (because when death is, you are not). I'm sure Cam did this on purpose. It's not like a sixteen year old boy would know Greek philosophers anyway. I'm not sure what's normal for a fanfic. I know mine's not as popular as Veran's or Kingsteve's or Predaking's, but then my Jameron is pretty unconventional. Cynical Jameron, maybe? And the Jameron probably evolved a bit too slow for some tastes. Oh well. But today alone 201 people read Ch17 on fanfiction.net, and seven people have reviewed it. Plus I do have three people who give private in depth comments on each chapter. So it's not like no one's reading it. But yeah, for some reason I can only hear crickets on this thread. No one seems to posts here. Post reply Do you find this valuable?
WestCoastTerminator	91. RE: JMHthe3rd's First Fan Fiction May 16 2009, 3:10 AM EDT I will read it. I'm reading Veran's right now, literally. When I return to the unfinished ones like yours and Predas it takes me a while to refresh my memory on the plot. I've been reading a lot of fanfic lately having just read Kingsteve's before moving on to Veran's. They all kind of jumble in my mind if I skip around so I will get to your next chapter, it's currently open in a tab at the top of my browser, when I finish The Quadrilogy. I am excited though as the story is terrific so far. I did want to say that the story you recommended awhile back, The Measure of a Man, over on FF.net, was amazing. It is my favorite short story so far. Short but good. So, thanks for posting it. Back to the Quadrilogy. Post reply Do you find this valuable?
Zable_Fahr	92. RE: JMHthe3rd's First Fan Fiction May 16 2009, 3:24 AM EDT \| Post edited: May 16 2009, 3:25 AM EDT "What made it especially funny (IMO) was that Cam used the quote out of context. Epicurus was actually saying death is nothing to fear (because when death is, you are not). I'm sure Cam did this on purpose. It's not like a sixteen year old boy would know Greek philosophers anyway." I didn't know who this chap was before reading this chapter, and subsequently checking wikipedia; so I'm hardly an expert. But it seems to me that another thing worth noting about this is that Epicurus' thoughts on how life should be lead would be quite appealing to your John. To quote the article: "Live secretly... / ...live without pursuing glory or wealth or power, but anonymously, enjoying little things like food, the company of friends, etc." This seems to be exactly what John desires for himself and Cam; a simple life, as he says. And yet, she uses a misrepresentation of this same philosopher's teachings to manipulate him away from that. It's delicious, really; very clever writing! (cont) Post reply Do you find this valuable?
Zable_Fahr	93. RE: JMHthe3rd's First Fan Fiction May 16 2009, 4:26 AM EDT \| Post edited: May 16 2009, 5:38 AM EDT (continued) Regarding Jameron... One thing I've come to feel is conventional in J fanfics (and bear in mind that I've read but a fraction of what's out there, so this is perhaps a grossly unfair generalisation) is an abundance of sap. I tend to think of sap as false romance. That is, romance taken to a place where it no longer feels honest; taken to an extreme where it is no longer softly stroking the reader's heart - but punching him/her in the gut. Your Jameron is NOT like that. But it's not straight romance either. I would say it strokes the heart with its sensitivity, but then gut punches the reader anyway - not with sap, but with its sincerety (a good gut punch!). Because you don't shy away from the fact that this relationship would most likely have some significant problems in store for them both. Obviously, I don't mean with naughty people like Jesse here, but with the problems inherent in Jameron itself (the stuff that really makes it interesting). Few writers could truly deal with this stuff, as they often tend to humanize Cam; sometimes to the point where she is impossible to recognize as a character. Why, I cannot imagine. What's the point of having a cyborg girl if you're just gonna write her as a human anyway? But again you do the opposite, and take great care to write her as the cyborg she is. And not only that, but you take it to some really uncomfortable (ie interesting) places. I can definitely see that people who actually like sap (the majority?) and dislike the darker aspects in Jameron might have some trouble with your take on it all. But really, who cares? There's plenty of pink fluff around for them to read elsewhere. I think yours is the most honest representation of Jameron I've encountered, and I can't imagine anyone writing it more honestly. I think this is a great feat, and what makes your fic truly awesome. Post reply Do you find this valuable?
scrat12	94. RE: JMHthe3rd's First Fan Fiction May 16 2009, 11:34 AM EDT "Zable_Fahr: I can't believe nobody has left any comments yet. Or maybe people did via PM? JMHthe3rd: Plus I do have three people who give private in depth comments on each chapter. So it's not like no one's reading it." Yeah, must be some sort of underground movement. Stealthy but loyal, verbose only via PM. Oh, wait! I AM one of the three... :-) And yeah, I agree: It's unconventional Jameron. Post reply Do you find this valuable?
JMHthe3rd	95. RE: JMHthe3rd's First Fan Fiction May 20 2009, 1:06 AM EDT "1) This seems to be exactly what John desires for himself and Cam; a simple life, as he says. And yet, she uses a misrepresentation of this same philosopher's teachings to manipulate him away from that. It's delicious, really; very clever writing! 2) Your Jameron is NOT like that . . . Few writers could truly deal with this stuff, as they often tend to humanize Cam; sometimes to the point where she is impossible to recognize as a character. Why, I cannot imagine. " 1) Yeah, my Cam's pretty underhanded, but she has the best of intentions. For John. 2) That's part of the reason I started the fic. Too many fics with human Cams, and too many fluffy romance scenes. I still have this in my fic, but it's twisted into a sort of dark parody (or more realistic) version of the whole Jameron trope. Cam cares for John, but she's also conspiring to have him augmented against his will if necessary. While kissing, she's analyzing his the tartar on his teeth. And she literally has no intrinsic concept of morality. Bad = Stuff that makes John mad. That's it. So far, at least, she really doesn't see anything that her future self's done as bad or evil. All perfectly logical to her. But she's not some snake-in-the-grass villain. Programmed or not, she really cares about John. She feels the concern. Obsessively so. She'd burn down the universe to keep him warm. Whether this is love or not depends on one's personal definition of the word. The funny thing is that one reviewer thinks I've made John too pathetic for falling for it. I agree (John's not going to stay a weepy emo boy the whole story), but on the other hand, I think many teenagers would act the same way. Especially with a crazy mother like Sarah. So far as I can tell, the only other writer who has a similar take on Cameron as me is Metroid13. Thanks for the comments. Post reply Do you find this valuable?
JMHthe3rd	96. RE: JMHthe3rd's First Fan Fiction May 20 2009, 1:11 AM EDT \| Post edited: May 20 2009, 1:13 AM EDT I guess the key to my story is understanding that the New Zealand future (and, for that matter, the Jesse/Jameron future to an extent) are both "Jameron gone wrong" scenarios. Cameron raising Kyle has turned him into an obsessive lunatic, and as for Jesse's future, you'll learn more about that later. The big question is how Jameron is going to develop this time around. John's got a big responsibility in Cameron. She's essentially has to be "raised." BTW: 2030 words into "Chapter Eighteen: Beyond Good and Evil" Post reply Do you find this valuable?
JMHthe3rd	97. RE: JMHthe3rd's First Fan Fiction Jun 3 2009, 2:18 AM EDT \| Post edited: Jun 3 2009, 2:26 AM EDT "Chapter Eighteen: Beyond Good and Evil" is finally up. I'd appreciate any feedback. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4809923/18/In_the_Hands_of_an_Angry_Machine Now I'm going to take a few days break. Will probably start on "Chapter Nineteen: When All Else is Stripped Away" this weekend. Post reply Do you find this valuable?
kaotic	98. RE: JMHthe3rd's First Fan Fiction Jun 3 2009, 2:31 AM EDT \| Post edited: Jun 3 2009, 2:32 AM EDT ""Chapter Eighteen: Beyond Good and Evil" is finally up. I'd appreciate any feedback. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4809923/18/In_the_Hands_of_an_Angry_Machine Now I'm going to take a few days break. Will probably start on "Chapter Nineteen: When All Else is Stripped Away" this weekend." I haven't read this yet- I was going to start once I finish with Judgement's Dawn, and Liberation Day. I'm really looking forward to reading this. You seem to put a lot of work/time into it. Post reply Do you find this valuable?
Zable_Fahr	99. RE: JMHthe3rd's First Fan Fiction Jun 3 2009, 1:28 PM EDT \| Post edited: Jun 3 2009, 1:28 PM EDT Wow man, that was quite a cliffhanger! Any idea when the next chapter will be done? Post reply Do you find this valuable?

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Chapter Eleven: Souls and Machines	Chapter Nine: Without Her Consent	Chapter Eight: Orpheus
Chapter Seven: The Banality of Evil	Chapter Six: I'll Explain Later	Chapter Five: Adamanthea
Chapter Four: Plan B	Chapter Twelve: The World's Behind You

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