"I've been trying to write one of these myself but not for T:SCC and i'm finding it a real struggle to know exactly what detail your meant to put in and what your meant to leave out. I'll definitely give it a good read through and post up some feedback.

The thing that immediately stood out to me when i read the first few pages is that Cameron's dialogue is a bit out of character, it uses some 'human' phrases and mannerisms that she probably wouldn't. The heavy Jameron aside, I think you could make her speech less long winded, more direct and to the point.

But i'll give some better feedback after i've read it all and congratulations on managing to complete it! I hope I get this far someday."

"Down the bottom, near the discussion section. Not here, the actual Fan fiction page. There should be a section for attachments. It's small, but it's there."

"Hrm... look like you gave Cam nearly full emotion development.
You made this a safe work. as i see there is no way BadCam or TSmirt would let Derek alive.
Cam blow a kiss before shotting... LOL. What's the point of doing it? Like "Hon, i love you but my mission is to terminate you." ? Or "One last good memory from me before you gone."? anyway.
A warmheart fanfiction to read. nice work!"