Location: Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles Discussion Forum

Discussion: My long chapter fanficReported This is a featured thread

Category: Discussion Forum / Fanfictions
Showing 1 - 20 of 46  |  Show  posts at a time
1 2 3 | Next
jbh61987
jbh61987
My long chapter fanfic
Jul 2 2009, 4:46 AM EDT | Post edited: Jul 2 2009, 4:47 AM EDT
I'm currently working on a retelling of TSCC with a few major changes in John's character. The story Im writing is called "Who is John Connor?" and is focused on the first season. Currently there are 2 chapters posted which cover the entire first episode and I'm in the process of writing the next chapter. What I'm posting this for is to get feedback on my story. I really want to make this the best story I possibly can and would like to hear the opinions of those who read it. What I'm looking for is what works, what doesn't, and what needs some (or a lot) of improvement. I get some feedback from reviewers, but not at much as I would like.

Thanks for your time,
jbh61987

P.S. Here is the link in case you haven't read it before.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4906654/1/Who_is_John_Connor Do you find this valuable?    
Keyword tags: fanfiction

kaotic
1. RE: My long chapter fanfic
Jul 2 2009, 5:21 AM EDT | Post edited: Jul 2 2009, 5:31 AM EDT
It's great that you're going to continue this. Is this going to be completely AU of the season one? Do you find this valuable?    
jbh61987
jbh61987
2. RE: My long chapter fanfic
Jul 2 2009, 5:34 AM EDT | Post edited: Jul 2 2009, 5:35 AM EDT
No for the most part Season 1 will follow the same path as the series. I do have plans though to finish the story arc involving Jordan and Cheri. I do have plans set for season 2 as well has my own version of season 3. Season 2 will become pretty much AU, but as I near the end of season 1, readers will start seeing the shifts that will set up the AU in the next story. And thanks for taking the time to read it.

As to my lack of updating, I had to deal with school and some personal problems at the time. But not once did I consider leaving my story unfinished. Do you find this valuable?    

kaotic
3. RE: My long chapter fanfic
Jul 2 2009, 5:37 AM EDT | Post edited: Jul 2 2009, 5:37 AM EDT
Good to hear, I will continue to read it once you start updated it. Do you find this valuable?    
jbh61987
jbh61987
4. RE: My long chapter fanfic
Jul 3 2009, 4:13 AM EDT | Post edited: Jul 3 2009, 4:13 AM EDT
What were your thoughts on John's character? I find that is the part I am most worried about. I don't want him coming off as overpowered and I try to keep his age in mind while I write. It's kind of hard trying to write my John when I consider that he has yet to celebrate his 16th birthday.

I don't want him to seem too mature and thats one of the reasons for his slightly perverted tendencies. Any tips or thoughts would be appreciated. Do you find this valuable?    

kaotic
5. RE: My long chapter fanfic
Jul 3 2009, 6:33 AM EDT | Post edited: Jul 3 2009, 6:33 AM EDT
I think the character is perfect- He's different than the John Connor from the first season of the show, but that's a good thing imo. He was trained to be a soldier, but he acted like a puss. Do you find this valuable?    
jbh61987
jbh61987
6. RE: My long chapter fanfic
Jul 8 2009, 1:16 AM EDT | Post edited: Jul 8 2009, 1:16 AM EDT
One thing I have started doing on my forum on cameronandjohn.com is posting a 1k word preview of the next chapter. This is mainly done to promote the next chapter inbetween the long updates due to its length. I figured since I did it for one forum I might as well do it here as well. Unfortunatley the character limit prevents me from actually posting it so here is the link to it instead.

http://cameronandjohn.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=271

This is unedited and hasn't gone through my beta so there is a good chance bits and pieces will change when I upload the final draft.

 Do you find this valuable?    
jbh61987
jbh61987
7. RE: My long chapter fanfic
Jul 17 2009, 3:59 AM EDT | Post edited: Jul 17 2009, 3:59 AM EDT
Im posting this to let you everyone know that chapter 3 is 90% done. After I'm finished I'll do a quick read-through and then send it off to my beta. But it may take him a bit longer since he is getting ready to move. Do you find this valuable?    

kaotic
8. RE: My long chapter fanfic
Jul 17 2009, 10:28 AM EDT | Post edited: Jul 17 2009, 10:28 AM EDT
"Im posting this to let you everyone know that chapter 3 is 90% done. After I'm finished I'll do a quick read-through and then send it off to my beta. But it may take him a bit longer since he is getting ready to move."
That's awesome news, I can't wait to read it. Do you find this valuable?    
jbh61987
jbh61987
9. RE: My long chapter fanfic
Jul 19 2009, 4:15 AM EDT | Post edited: Jul 19 2009, 4:15 AM EDT
Done! Rough draft is now complete. All thats left is to proofread and ship it off to my beta. Final weigh in Pages 25; words 10608
 Do you find this valuable?    
jbh61987
jbh61987
10. RE: My long chapter fanfic
Jul 28 2009, 2:21 AM EDT | Post edited: Jul 28 2009, 2:21 AM EDT
Chapter 3 is up. Do you find this valuable?    

kaotic
11. RE: My long chapter fanfic
Jul 28 2009, 4:12 AM EDT | Post edited: Jul 28 2009, 4:12 AM EDT
"Chapter 3 is up."
Awesome I'll read it tonight. Do you find this valuable?    
TheTimeMachine
TheTimeMachine
12. RE: My long chapter fanfic
Jul 28 2009, 10:59 AM EDT | Post edited: Jul 28 2009, 10:59 AM EDT
"Awesome I'll read it tonight."
Same here.
 Do you find this valuable?    

PyroDude
13. RE: My long chapter fanfic
Jul 28 2009, 2:47 PM EDT | Post edited: Jul 28 2009, 2:47 PM EDT
Nice. I read the first chapter. It's written well and the detail is great. I'll read the rest today! Do you find this valuable?    
jbh61987
jbh61987
14. RE: My long chapter fanfic
Jul 28 2009, 10:32 PM EDT | Post edited: Jul 28 2009, 10:32 PM EDT
Hope you enjoyed the latest addition. It's fun to write this story but the chapters take a lot of work. So I'm always hoping to get some feedback on my story. Do you find this valuable?    
jbh61987
jbh61987
15. RE: My long chapter fanfic
Jul 29 2009, 11:13 PM EDT | Post edited: Jul 29 2009, 11:13 PM EDT
Ive posted the first 1k on my forum at CameronandJohn.com. Enjoy and as always feedback is much appreciated. Do you find this valuable?    

PyroDude
16. RE: My long chapter fanfic
Jul 30 2009, 12:41 AM EDT | Post edited: Jul 30 2009, 12:41 AM EDT
"Hope you enjoyed the latest addition. It's fun to write this story but the chapters take a lot of work. So I'm always hoping to get some feedback on my story."
I left some feed back on FF.. but I wanted to say this is a really great story. I really like how you had John and Cameron go out, and if that had been in the pilot I think that could have led to some very interesting experiences in the show. Him going out with her, even just once, added just a different dynamic to their relationship it opens up a lot of doors and possibilities; good and bad.

Having John man up and not start off all whiny (that part in the show was cringe worthy) is fantastic. And you also throw in references to training; hand-to-hand training. Stuff like that was missed in the show, and I think the sparing match was an excellent first bit. I hope you follow that up with more training exercises, because the end result of that was an excellent John and Cameron interaction and discussion. And I'll jsut repeated what I said int eh review in that everything in John's life seems to be setting him up for disappointment in some regard or another. Someone he thought he was going to get close to ended up being a machine.

And I think you're handling Sarah's reactions to John proclamation of fighting Skynet very well and the observation from John's POV about her taking over the mission as well. I can definitely see some conflict. And I think it's not the whiny emo conflict we had in Season 2, but real differences in how to conduct operations against Skynet..

The long chapters are a definite plus and the detail is really amazing. John's thought when he was looking up at the "sky" were just very well done.

Anyway, great job. This is definitely a favorite! Do you find this valuable?    
jbh61987
jbh61987
17. RE: My long chapter fanfic
Jul 30 2009, 1:58 AM EDT | Post edited: Jul 30 2009, 1:58 AM EDT
Thanks for the feedback. One of the hardest aspects to nail is John's character. Especially since "Who is John Connor?" is about developing his character in preperation for the big changes I have planned for Season 2. I cant say much, but readers are already seeing the foundation for the sequal. And since I'm only half way into episode 2, you can safley assume that those changes will be huge.

One thing I always worry about is how close I follow season 1. I don't want to bore people with things they've already seen, so hearing you say that you're enjoying the story leaves me with a sense of relief. That being said I will be adding scenes as well as finishing loose ends left in Season 1.

Thanks again for the feedback. The roughdraft for chapter 4 should be finished hopefully in two weeks. Do you find this valuable?    

PyroDude
18. RE: My long chapter fanfic
Jul 30 2009, 2:20 AM EDT | Post edited: Jul 30 2009, 2:20 AM EDT
"Thanks for the feedback. One of the hardest aspects to nail is John's character. Especially since "Who is John Connor?" is about developing his character in preperation for the big changes I have planned for Season 2. I cant say much, but readers are already seeing the foundation for the sequal. And since I'm only half way into episode 2, you can safley assume that those changes will be huge.

One thing I always worry about is how close I follow season 1. I don't want to bore people with things they've already seen, so hearing you say that you're enjoying the story leaves me with a sense of relief. That being said I will be adding scenes as well as finishing loose ends left in Season 1.

Thanks again for the feedback. The roughdraft for chapter 4 should be finished hopefully in two weeks."
I think the way you've changed John's character opens up a lot of different doors even if you used a lot of the Season 1 plot lines. Plus so much of the season was occupied by Vick and his chip, so... But yeah, your portrayal of John is great. It mixes a bit of teenager (staring up Cameron's skirt) with a good bit of future leader (saying no to the running, sparing, etc).

I think the hardest bit to nail down is John's hope to have some sort of a normal life while also realizing the inevitable responsibility he will have. You've done that well, in the warehouse, and especially chapter 3, in my opinion. Do you find this valuable?    
TheTimeMachine
TheTimeMachine
19. RE: My long chapter fanfic
Jul 30 2009, 2:35 PM EDT | Post edited: Jul 30 2009, 2:35 PM EDT
"The long chapters are a definite plus and the detail is really amazing. John's thought when he was looking up at the "sky" were just very well done.

Anyway, great job. This is definitely a favorite!"
Yeah, great job.

I liked John's thoughts when they traveled to the future seeing Cameron, well, *au naturel* :-)
You bring new elements and perspectives with great detail and that´s really good.
 Do you find this valuable?    
1 2 3 | Next

Related Content

  (what's this?Related ContentThanks to keyword tags, links to related pages and threads are added to the bottom of your pages. Up to 15 links are shown, determined by matching tags and by how recently the content was updated; keeping the most current at the top. Share your feedback on Wetpaint Central.)
ScotWithOne_t - Fan Fiction It will be our secret ken's fanfiction: It WIll be Our Secret
glad to see... Lowest Ebb Let Someone Else...
Courtney From Cactus Springs Judgement's Dawn New John Cameron fanfic - Progenitor
Question for people who read fan fiction Do Not Edit Other People's Fiction Quid Pro Quo, Part One