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Location: randomicity912s Fan Fiction
Discussion: The Paradoxical Spiral
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Showing 9 posts
randomicity912 |
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kaotic |
1. RE: The Paradoxical Spiral
Jul 2 2009, 10:35 PM EDT
The first chapter was fun to read... Now we have to wait for the second.
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PyroDude |
2. RE: The Paradoxical Spiral
Jul 2 2009, 10:36 PM EDT
Read it. It's interesting. Cameron is going to get an upgrade to a T-X? Interesting.Two very minor nitpicks: Could you split the scenes with some sort of marker so they are easier to read? and for base "CEO" I think you were aiming for "CO." CEO is used for business, CO (commanding officer) is used for the military. Do you find this valuable? |
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randomicity912 |
3. RE: The Paradoxical Spiral
Jul 2 2009, 10:52 PM EDT
"Read it. It's interesting. Cameron is going to get an upgrade to a T-X? Interesting.Sort of. Cameron's new endo is going to be a hybrid between T-X and TOK-715. No poly-mimetic alloy covering though. Yeah, I thought I did insert markers but obviously whatever I did didn't work. =/ I'll sort the CEO/CO thing right now. Do you find this valuable? |
thecrusadingknight |
4. RE: The Paradoxical Spiral
Jul 3 2009, 11:43 AM EDT
It's interesting that you started this fan fiction in the 2009 storyline, whereas most people tend to start in the 2027 storyline. A very long chapter, perhaps too long, but with a lot happening. Interesting that you had Allison very untrusting of John, whereas a lot of people would expect her to be supportive. It makes perfect sense, considering her look to John doesn't scream romance to me. I don't think that John would tell the truth about where he's been so early on in, and I would've preferred the Resistance to not find out from Savannah so early. Also, when you refer to Cameron's endoskelaton, it's sometimes confusing. For instance when you describe Sarah looking at Cameron's endoskelaton, I'm wondering "Did Sarah remove Cameron's skin in preparation for burning the body?" Overall a very good read and I look forward to part 2. Do you find this valuable? |
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randomicity912 |
5. RE: The Paradoxical Spiral
Jul 3 2009, 11:47 AM EDT
"For instance when you describe Sarah looking at Cameron's endoskelaton, I'm wondering "Did Sarah remove Cameron's skin in preparation for burning the body?""Nah. I used the term "endoskeleton" since her CPU wasn't in it any longer. Sorry for the confusion. I'm glad you liked it though! Do you find this valuable? |
TK-MR |
6. RE: The Paradoxical Spiral
Jul 3 2009, 2:08 PM EDT
Wow, very nice work. Nice start.The Terminator at first 'scene' is a T-X sent back to kill Savannah, Sarah and Ellison? So Sarah buried Cameron's TOK-715 body some where? Cameron will having a T-X chassis and synthetic biological cover. Does she still having 'build-in' weapon like original T-X? That would be cool if she can shot plasma bolt from her right arm and cut through things with toys from her left arm.... she would use them in desperate situation of course since her sheath is not poly-mimetic-alloy . Keep update ASAP! :D Do you find this valuable? |
TheTimeMachine |
7. RE: The Paradoxical Spiral
Jul 3 2009, 7:44 PM EDT
| Post edited: Jul 3 2009, 7:46 PM EDT
"Wow, very nice work. Nice start.Yes, very nice work and a good start! Keep it coming. As for Cameron having these built-in weapons, well, they could be very dangerous when they´re having some Jameron time... - "Ohhhh, John!!!!!" - "Aaaahhhhh" well, you get the idea :-) Do you find this valuable? |
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randomicity912 |
8. RE: The Paradoxical Spiral
Jul 29 2009, 7:07 PM EDT
| Post edited: Jul 29 2009, 7:08 PM EDT
For those who care, second chapter is up, lolololololololol: - http://terminatorwiki.fox.com/page/The+Paradoxical+Spiral%3A+Chapter+2%3A+Clouds+Over+California Do you find this valuable? |
